Home > Ethnic Peoples > Zhuang > How Kids Name their Parents


How Kids Name their Parents  by Mo Rui Qiu
T he day I first met her, she introduced herself as Huáng Měi. I
wrote her name down and diligently tried to remember it. I used
her name each time I saw her. Then, one day we were walking through her home village together and I noticed that her friends and neighbors were calling her by a different name. I listened more carefully to what they were saying. They were calling out, “Mā Fā Míng!” I was quite confused because I was sure that I had carefully remembered the name that she used to introduce herself. “Mā Fā Míng” didn’t sound anything like “Huáng Měi.”

I asked about it and they reminded me that her oldest child was named, “Fā Míng.” Since she gave birth to him, the local people started calling her, “Mā Fā Míng,” which means “Fa Ming’s mother.” Similarly, the people would call his father “Bà Fā Míng,” which means “Fa Ming’s father.” In this interesting way, an oldest child “names” his or her parents. In the local mindset, having your first child is like a promotion up the social ladder. Once you have a child, you’re no longer just you, now you’re somebody’s mother or father.

Pix
A Zhuang grandma takes her grandchild for a ride.

Jingxi, Guangxi

Although local people still prefer to have a son, if the oldest child is a daughter, they will still use her name when renaming the parents. They will continue using the oldest daughter’s name even if they give birth to a son later on. Interestingly, in rural areas, the husband and wife will start calling each other as the “parent + child’s name” formula! In the county town, couples are more likely to alternate between using their own names and using this “kid’s name” formula.

After learning this, I started paying more attention to how people on our street called each other. People distinguished which grandma by saying things like, “Fa Ming’s grandma.” I realized that the grandmothers on our street are also called by the names of their oldest grandchild! So, having one’s first grandchild is another step up the social ladder of respect. This custom is one way that kids can “name” their parents and grandparents.